I don't exactly know how to write this, and I have been hesitant to share but we all had an experience that has been on my mind that I can't seem to shake.
Last week, the girls went in for a sick visit at their Pediatric office. They both saw a new doctor, and he immediately started making some comments about Lainey's ears. I don't remember what was said, but I do remember in the moment not feeling good about the comments he was making. I remember quickly swooping in to respond in the way I wanted Lainey to hear - that her ears were so awesome!! Nothing other than that. And then he moved to Millie. Upon seeing her, he said, "And you've got a funky ear too.". That comment has really struck a nerve with me. It was said in a way that made it seem like her ear was something so foreign, so different. It was also said in addition to the other comments he had made to Lainey. All of it had made me so upset.
I left the appointment feeling unnerved. I immediately said to Tyler, "a funky ear"??! I was appalled that someone - let alone A MEDICAL PROVIDER - could say that to her.
I don't ever want my girls to think they are different because of their hearing aids. They can (and are!) different by their amazing character - by their creative thoughts and ideas, by their sweetness and kindness to others, and by their love for Jesus. But I don't ever want them to feel different because of their hearing aids. More than ever, I feel that I am fighting our world to preserve my girls' confidence about their ears. I feel like I am constantly on high-alert, making sure that the girls are left with the message I want them to hear - their hearing aids are so cool!
Lainey is very confident and very proud of her ears. But it could only take one comment to damage that confidence. I am doing all I can do to continue to build her confidence and advocacy, and I feel troubled that a medical provider could even say something like that. (Needless to say, we have been thinking about switching organizations and this was the straw that broke the camel's back.) I know I need to continue to have thick skin. We live in a world that is unkind. Through the girls' journey, I have learned to focus on our response vs what people can say. I can teach the girls that we can't control what others think or say, but we can control how we respond.
Lainey and Millie, I am so honored to be on your journey with you!!! You both are fearfully and wonderfully made - exactly how you should be! I wouldn't change a thing, and your ears are so cool! I will never stop fighting for you. I love you so much!!! Love, Mama
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