One year ago today my maternity leave ended, and I went back to work full-time. It was a challenging day. My heart hurt leaving Lainey. I was very unhappy.
I had many friends reach out in support. The community of full-time working moms is huge and their support meant so much to me. It would get easier, they said. But for me, it never did.
Sure, I was managing it. I was being a full-time working mom but I was not happy by any means. I longed for more time with her. For me, I had a really hard time accepting that I would only see Lainey for a couple hours at night and on weekends. I knew she was in good care but I absolutely hated being away.
Thankfully things changed in my favor when COVID hit. I was sent home to work full-time while also caring for Lainey full-time. Though those days were very challenging as well, I loved being able to see my daughter every hour, every day! That definitely helped some.
Shortly after quarantine, things fell into place a little more, and I was able to go part-time. A few months later, my department underwent a restructuring, and I was told my position needed to be full-time (or essentially I had to leave). It was a no brainer. So long, Corporate America!
When I was in college, I didn't know this is what I wanted to do. I studied very hard, earned a Masters Degree in Accounting, became a CPA, and dove right into public accounting. My mom stayed home full-time with my siblings and I so staying home was always a thought in my head. However, early in my career, I was motivated by all the amazing strong and working moms I had as coworkers. I admired them. They were great at what they did but also valued and loved their family so much. I thought that was what I was suppose to do too. But when it was my turn, I found that wasn't the right fit for me.
God has amazing ways of working. This past year was a very hard and winding journey but all these twists and turns lead me to what I believe is my purpose. I believe I was meant to raise Lainey. I am so thankful that God has lead us to this. I am so happy - what a difference a year makes!
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